lil yeowls from tired girls

Always the less amorous of two jsys, I am happy to report that here on the east coast spring has only meant the premature death of naked baby birds plummeting out of trees onto concrete sidewalks. Gross, I know, but even more disgusting is how these little darlings have become Zooey’s favorite source of protein.

For those of us who are wholeheartedly immune to phermonal outbreaks and other such romantic inclinations, la saison de coeur has meant...well... *yeowl* (see picture above). Let’s face it…new relationships are *kinda* tiring. Granted, rollicking good fun-- like tromping through mud puddles and flinging writhing earthworms into creeks-- but exhausting.

On the plus side, I’m learning new words. Or being reminded of old ones. Like “rigamarole”-- which I haven’t heard since Snooky the Elephant got footloose and fancy free, impulsively bounding into the ball pit with the pre-todds at the Hayward County Fair. yeooooowl.

spring is in the air

My sister is one of the two yeowl followers, and I can hear her saying "gross" already.

Yesterday I got more attention from the opposite sex then I have the entire winter season. "I think I'm in heat (yeoooowl)", I told my friend Mike, in attempt to explain this abnormality, "Smell me and tell me if I smell different". He refused to sniff me (wise move my friend, wise move).

Mike's hypothesis is that its Spring, and people become amorous when the weather heats up. Though, living in northern california where the weather is always lukewarm, thats not a very good explanation. "Maybe its because of the full moon", was his next guess, "the full moon always makes people a little crazier". The next full moon is May 27th. Yeowlers, be prepared.

friday yeowls

things that made me yeowl today:

1. the pic above, of a japanese shark. yeowlp...

2. running with bart and NOT feeling beatass tired..first time in days- YEOWLlelujah!

3. my tonsils are beeeeaaauuuuttiiifffuuuuulll again :) yeowl-sers!

ooh la la

I'm in a full office at work, with my Lady GaGa headphones, jamming out to Bad Romance, and yeowling like its Cinco de Mayo because I JUST GOT LADY GAGA TICKETS!!!! omg omg omg omg omg... this is even better than the time Keanu Reeves professed his love to me "You are... like... rad... totally. whoa."

On a side note, I was at first disappointed with the headphones. I had the volume blasted and yet the sound was still muffled and muted. Then one of my office mates said to me "PLUG IN YOUR HEADPHONES!!!" Oh sweet melodious joy!

Yeowl culture wars, part uno

Bangers and mash, Posh Spice, hunky teenage heartthrob, Robert Pattinson of the Twilight saga. Seems the Brits don’t do things in halves. Our cousins across the ocean aren’t likely to be outdone when it comes to yeowling either.

To throw a lil fat in the fire, we here at Yeowl decided to ask the perennial question, “So what are the differences between the Brits and Irish?” Other than Guinness being way tastier than Pimms and the Irish having definite dibs over the word ‘malarkey,’ is there a notable difference when it comes to yeowling?

Lucky for our readers, we were able to conjure up a couple lads from Britain and Ireland and probe them for their thoughts on the matter.

Q: What was your first impression of yeowling when you came to know the powers of yeowl?

Crumpet: Much like Zooey, at first rather befuddled. That transitioned to faint amusement. However, we're British, so once we're drunk we'll be utterly convinced and jump on the bandwagon, out-yeowling the lot of you.

Lucky Charms: Christmas 1984. Dublin zoo. Tomato soup. Absolutely baffled, frankly. As you might imagine, it’s a bit of a complicated story, though.

Q: We belive that ‘yeowl’ transcends cultural boundaries. In your country, how would you pronounce ‘yeowl’ and what would be its typical usage?

Crumpet: Yee-oowwlll (said in a sultry, low pitch elongated manner to a member of the opposite sex - sort of in a Joey Tribbianni style 'How you doing' kind of way, only with a smooth James Bond-esque British accent.)

Lucky Charms: We have a lot of hidden consonants in my language, revealed mostly on speaking. No double-u’s or w-eyes, either. Eodhal, probably. Yes, that.

Q: Would you identify yourself as a yeowler or yeowlist? Why?

Crumpet: Definitely a Yeowlist. Yeowler sounds so uncouth.

Lucky Charms: Definitely the first one. Yeowlists are a pretentious bunch. The fake French accents really get me down.

Q. What is your vision of the perfect yeowl?

Crumpet: Whispered evocatively into one's ear by Elizabeth Hurley over tea and crumpets.

Lucky Charms: Less on the “ye” and more on the “owl”. Simple and classic, but none the worse for it. The “times new roman” of yeowling. And no faux French accents, either.

Editor’s note: Next up in Yeowl culture showdowns: the Turks vs the French. Stay tuned.

Guess the Yeowl

Tons of celebrities are now yeowling in public. Can you match the yeowl to the celebrity? Answers to be posted next week.

z bear responds to yeowling

Recent studies from the New Zealand Veterinary Society of Animal Behavior show that dogs recognize 'yeowling' as Alpha dog behavior.

a bit of yeowl history

...it is rumored that when attila the hun won the third and final round of horseshoes against mohammed conquistador the third just west of the maxon dison line, he uttered a "YEOWL!!!" with such fervor that he was heard by tribesmen three states over. These men and women paused from tilling their fields, herding their goats, and stalking their prey long enough to look up at the sky in awe, acknowledging at once that they were, indeed, in the presence of greatness...

can yeowling really cure Gout?

Yes it can! However, not all the reported benefits of yeowling are accurate. With all the recent hype around yeowling these days, it can be tricky to discern what's fact and fiction. But don't worry, the JSYs are here to help.

Can yeowling....

• reduce blood pressure? - Yes. Yeowling, when used correctly is a great stress reliever and can help lower blood pressure. We recommend long high-pitched yeowls.
• regulate me? - a resounding YES. Short powerful yeowls are ideal for constipation.
• cure acne? - Sorry charlie, although many people claim that yeowling has worked for them, there's been no scientific proof to support this.
• help me get girls? - There is nothing hotter than a low guttural yeowl.
• heal weeping wounds? - Thats just gross. Go see a doctor.

Finally, is yowling just as good as yeowling?

Yes... if you are an owl. Owls yowl, we yeowl. Please do not confuse the two.

the birth of yeowling

the jsys have decided that you really can't fight animal nature. we need to yeowl more often. it's just simply not done enough.

we thought about planning a camping trip around the yeowl so we can yeowl it up in our natural habitat. at the moon. under the stars. but then we decided since we are a continent apart and stuck in our respective daily doldrums, why not just incorporate the yeowl into our lives and use technology to bridge the gap between us? hence the birth of a blog about yeowling-- a record of all the times, places, and different situations in which we've yeowled.

for example, on a blind date: "hi jen, i'm ken".. "yeowlllll." or at a job interview "why do you think you are qualified for this job?" "YEOWL." or when you bend down to tie your shoe on the trail-- why not throw a YEOWL in there when you stand up? how bout when you're trying to poop when you are constipated.. definitely a yeowl moment.

sometimes yeowl can be a song. like:
"stuck a chopstick in the blender...yeowl"
"stuck my finger in the piranha tank...yeowl"
"drove my chevy, got into a fender bender ... yewol yewol yeowl"
makes you want to thump your hand on your knee to keep the beat, right?

does the yeowl need instrumental accompaniment? afterall, it lends itself well to musicality. we discussed the banjo. maybe a hint of piccolo. we believe however, that the yeowl can stand alone, a capella. instruments might detract from its primal nature. a yeowl is like the echo of the circle of life. think cats in heat, lurking around trash cans, tails a-swishing. yeeeowwwl.

prepare for some thumping good times, folks. the fun has just begun. YEOWL.